Okay by now I hope that 1 of you muthafuckas been smart enough to realize the irony of the title i chose for the last 3 posts. Nigga i got cancer. I mean i should be crazy out of my fuckin mind. But I aint all happy. I chose to name my The Happiness because somewhere deep down in the pits of hell with all of the scary ass parahnas im scared out of my fucking mind. I have been down the tunnel like twice but never all the way down because I know that once I get it into my head im gonna die there will be no sleep. I mean like nigga i got two different types of cancer that come back at a rate of 7o-sumthin%. But since I two different types I got a 140% chance of this shit comin back. Niggas is harrassin me about a fuckin spinal tap. Ionno somehow the NEEDLE in the TIP OFF MY FUCKIN SPINE JUST DOESNT SOUND TOO APPETIZIN. You muthafuckas you. You try it. Let me know how the fuck that shit feels. Even my mother and Grandmommy Majidah were just speakin on it. Like on some "Yeah we gotta take Kevin..." (fuck it oh well my name is fuckin Kevin) so anyway....
"Yeah we gotta take Kevin on Tuesday for his spinal tap. While he's in the operating room lets go get some food."
"Okay lets go for BBQ's his spinal tap is gonna take a long time."
Heart Stops brain stops. Nigga i could be dead in 2 maybe even 3 days. Fuck it i have to stop because I'm heading down that fucking hole again. Anyway you see where I going.
Anyway on a lighter note: This shit is funny as hell.
I will fuck you up! Ahahahahaha!!!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
The Happiness Pt. 3
Well after seeing my sister (she lives in Brooklyn) she informed me that I have been quite a dickhead while I was knocked up on whatever chemicals the doctors used to knock my ass out. Apperently my step sister and brother were there and which now brings my total to 22 people. (I have no recollection of them being there goddamn my brain was so shot) But anyway that is besides the point... Keishas tells me that I told everbody to get the fuck out of the room so that I could sleep..... Now I don't remeber this but the part about my going to sleep seems pretty likely and I'm pretty sure I am that much of a hypothetical asshole. I mean like if I were home and I thought about it I would be like "Yeah that would be funny but that would also be fucked up. I wouldnt do it though." Well goddamn the doctors gave my fucked my brain up so bad or good chemicals (u choose lol) I skipped right past the part were you decide if the action is good or bad. I guess I just did it. And u know what? I feel like shit. I really do feel like horseshit. How the fuck would you feel if you came all the way from Newark,NJ to Manhattan,NY just to be told to get the fuck out so that I could sleep? I mean I'm sure i was sleepy but damn that shit was just grimy. But then again my Dr. Whateveryouma'callim. Told us that I would be somewhat different after the surgery. Yah whatever all i feel is a lil bit more human which I guess what I like now but really I doubt that the older me would have thought different. Mother says that I answer all of her questions with 1 word answers and I call her "Mother" and I can eat my way through half ya fridge. So to her im still the person but my freinds could tell the difference. Well at least I decided to slow down wit the cursin instead of steppin it up wit the cursin. Goddamn how the fuck could I have stepped it up? "Fuck I'm muthafuckn Kevin my nigga. I come straight from muthafuckin goddamit Brownsville bitch." Actually that actually soounds like me a few weeks ago. Thank god for brain tumors cuz that shit iz jus ridiculous. Later on after a bunch of frequent pisses one of the nurses comes into my room and tells me that I have 1 of 2 choices.
- I could have a cane and look like an old ass muthafucka.
- Or... I could have taken... the fuckin walker.... like im sick but i aint that sick gimme the fuckin cane.
So now I have the cane for about 1 or 2 days I forget. The bed rolls up and backward. Like sitting up for during the day and then leaning back for a nap. So I notice when I was leaning back that I hear a cracklin sound. I looked around the room and I never found it. I thought it may be one of the annoyin ass nurses buggin me about some pill I had to take 3 in the fuckin morning. But it wasn't. Becuase the next morning I noticed that myh cane was mishapen. Mishapen as in I broke that shit the fuck up. I guess that shit was on my bed and i bent back too far wit the cane on it. Oops my bad.
Friday, February 22, 2008
The Happiness Pt. 2
Well it appears that I did have something to keep me from posting a blog. I know I know ur sorry. Listen all I need is some pineapples and im good we can move on. Thanks. Anyway the story of The Happiness continues:
So now I'm awake and my family is there. My mother, my sisters, my brothers, my Pops, my Stepmother, my grandmothers, and my Uncle Reggie, my cousins who oddly enough I have not seen in over a decade, and my dearly beloved Auntie Erika. That makes it 13 people. but then all of a sudden I start recognizing my 3 friends Dame Javien n Derek (ayo Derek we got sumn n comin now LOL), my guidance conselor Carlos, my boss from school, Trisha, and Leanna. Which now brings my total to 20 people. 20 people. 20 FUCKING POEPLE. I mean damn I liked having all of you there but really. Goddamn. It was just so many of you muthafuckas. Shit. And now my nurses are all in a tiffy cuz I cant say what the name of mthe hospital is..... Umm i havent been to a hospital for more than ten years and my normal brain function sux. I jus had brain surgery... gimme a break. I must also say that school food is now THE SHIT. The shit as in I praise the box it comes prepackaged in. Hospital food is digusting low sleazy trashy and just plain horrible tasting. I remember after a few days of being there I decided for them to bring me Farina. After all there is no way you can mess up Farina. These muthafuckas did. Somehow I got a bowl of farina on the bottom of the bowl and water on the top of the bowl. It was too thick to mix and too gelatany to eat straight. Milk must be drunk cold. I know you guys prolly keep it up in the right temps but really everyday I was just chuggin that shit away cuz it wasnt bone chillingly cold. Bran muffins are not muffins they are nasty ass peices of shit you use to throw at dogs. And really the only real part of breakfast is the juice which is served with your crackhead of a meal. MMMmmmm delicous only problem is it is 8 oz. WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH 8 OZ? YOU STUPID ASSHOLES AT THE FDA KEEP CALLING IT "8OZ PER SERVING" HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN 8 OZ SERVING? NO. CUZ YOU TELL THEM TO BRING YOU A FULL 16 OZ SERVING. FUCKING ASSHOLE DICKHEAD MUTHAFUCKAS.
Other than that it was a really good hospital and if you need it I suggest it highly.
So now I'm awake and my family is there. My mother, my sisters, my brothers, my Pops, my Stepmother, my grandmothers, and my Uncle Reggie, my cousins who oddly enough I have not seen in over a decade, and my dearly beloved Auntie Erika. That makes it 13 people. but then all of a sudden I start recognizing my 3 friends Dame Javien n Derek (ayo Derek we got sumn n comin now LOL), my guidance conselor Carlos, my boss from school, Trisha, and Leanna. Which now brings my total to 20 people. 20 people. 20 FUCKING POEPLE. I mean damn I liked having all of you there but really. Goddamn. It was just so many of you muthafuckas. Shit. And now my nurses are all in a tiffy cuz I cant say what the name of mthe hospital is..... Umm i havent been to a hospital for more than ten years and my normal brain function sux. I jus had brain surgery... gimme a break. I must also say that school food is now THE SHIT. The shit as in I praise the box it comes prepackaged in. Hospital food is digusting low sleazy trashy and just plain horrible tasting. I remember after a few days of being there I decided for them to bring me Farina. After all there is no way you can mess up Farina. These muthafuckas did. Somehow I got a bowl of farina on the bottom of the bowl and water on the top of the bowl. It was too thick to mix and too gelatany to eat straight. Milk must be drunk cold. I know you guys prolly keep it up in the right temps but really everyday I was just chuggin that shit away cuz it wasnt bone chillingly cold. Bran muffins are not muffins they are nasty ass peices of shit you use to throw at dogs. And really the only real part of breakfast is the juice which is served with your crackhead of a meal. MMMmmmm delicous only problem is it is 8 oz. WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH 8 OZ? YOU STUPID ASSHOLES AT THE FDA KEEP CALLING IT "8OZ PER SERVING" HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN 8 OZ SERVING? NO. CUZ YOU TELL THEM TO BRING YOU A FULL 16 OZ SERVING. FUCKING ASSHOLE DICKHEAD MUTHAFUCKAS.
Other than that it was a really good hospital and if you need it I suggest it highly.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The Happiness Pt.1
I am sooo sorry. I know i didn't post anything recently. I mean all that happened was I had a headache for 2 weeks and I stayed home in the dark, in total silence. Then I went to the hospital they gave me some IV and sent my ass home. Then the next day I had to go back and stress the level of my headaches and they gave me a CRI or an MRI or somethin like that. And come to find out I have a 7 centimeter brain tumor in the back of my head.(which is actually pretty goddamn big) And for whatever reason luck actually finds its way into my life and I get transfered to a good nuerological {big words} at Luke Roosevelt (It took me 6 days to get that right and if I didnt get it right fuck it) And my doctor Dr. Sumnthinwatchyacallit told me its like i have like 3 tumors built into 1. Uh Huh... So we head into some room and from there I remember I remember........ nothing. Now im back too sleepy to remember what the hell was the going on. Sleepy, Sleepy, Sleepy. One funny thing though was that my Uncle Reggie said I looked like the Indian kid Hadji off of Johnny Quest with my head bandages.
Now I have been away from this computer for at least the past month and y'know what Im just now recognizing how much the internet the sux. I mean they're are the sites y'know about but the other ones we dont know about. Like whuthafuck man? Imma just throw this 1 out there for you fuckin programmers and shit. How about an actually search engine that actually understands English. And I don't give a fuck about "but it's not invented yet." Fuck yeah it is. Now take yo ass in the lab and go get our zoogle 2.0.
Another thing I recognized is that I hate... no..... I despise with a great passion rap. Now somehow my rap collection has been quite large. But if you look a little more closely my rap collection is actually safe from big media releases. Other than that fuck D4L, Lil Jon, Dem Franchize Boyz, The Diplomats.... fuck..... i could go on forever... fuck P. Diddly. Sorry he had to be included in my fuckery. So now my site will be a Fuk Rap/I Luv Rap.
Now I have been away from this computer for at least the past month and y'know what Im just now recognizing how much the internet the sux. I mean they're are the sites y'know about but the other ones we dont know about. Like whuthafuck man? Imma just throw this 1 out there for you fuckin programmers and shit. How about an actually search engine that actually understands English. And I don't give a fuck about "but it's not invented yet." Fuck yeah it is. Now take yo ass in the lab and go get our zoogle 2.0.
Another thing I recognized is that I hate... no..... I despise with a great passion rap. Now somehow my rap collection has been quite large. But if you look a little more closely my rap collection is actually safe from big media releases. Other than that fuck D4L, Lil Jon, Dem Franchize Boyz, The Diplomats.... fuck..... i could go on forever... fuck P. Diddly. Sorry he had to be included in my fuckery. So now my site will be a Fuk Rap/I Luv Rap.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)