Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Sick Of Gettin Fired

Im so fuckin busy. Gotta job at pathmark. But im tryna bust the fuk outa there for circuit city. nigga im 18 now aint the time to be broke and shit. I got hired for that casheir position which might be in jepordy cuz they said i couldnt get on the registers yet and if i was runnin a bizness I wuldnt wanna be payin sum1 who hasnt been doin their assigned job. But i been havin interviews and shit. Sleep is precious. Im sleepy now just typin this shit. No idea wtf the rant wil be about. I be fallin asleep on the bus to work. 4:30. Now that i think about it. Isnt a cashier a traditionally female positon like a nurse or something? So fuckin busy I aint been back to HL. Damn. My bad son i gotta sleep. Ill be there friday though with my guidance counselor Carlos. Thats gonna be an easy day... other than that pathmark thing. I anit never seen so many pregnant biches in my life. Like goddamn bitches just held they shit open all summer until something took hold. I seen a chick who couldna been no more than 23 wit a newborn in the stroller an the chick is pregnant agian. Now how she gon keep up that weave when her kids need Huggies? (gives in and goes to sleep...)

. . . . . (yawn) A new day and Im fuckin sleepy again. Im bout ta start snortin coke just to stay awake. Nah I'd get addicted to easy. So its like 7:30 this mornin and im sleepin cuz im too lazy to get up even tho my alarm clock rang like four times and its Vicky Wallace from City-As School. (Vicky is a guidance counselor who set me up as an assistant at an art gallery) And what else is she telling me other than I have been quote unquote "dropped" from my resource. How the fuk am i gonna get fired from a non paying job? Damn I know I can be an ass but I'm not that bad. Vicky asks do I have any idea why and I say yeah I knocked over a can of paint onto this carpet runner thingy he had on the floor. I was painting the wall and the paint pole hit the can. So now white gloss is seeping between the cracks and he said he wasnt upset but I could tell. Shit if somebody came in my room and knocked over sum paint I'd knock they chin off they fucking face. So Vicky being the anal asswipe she is says " There's more... Weren't you late by 3 hours?" No jackass I was late by 1 I called in advance and his ass wasn't even there. I had to wait for a fucking hour and a half wit some creepy ass miskitoes. And all the work I did in that muhafuckin gallery nigga should be lickin my toes or sumthin. I used to feel bad for the way the Native Americans had thier land stolen but if they gonna fire me over some fuckin paint I don't give a shit I hope they take every reservation casino you mothafuckas got. I shoulda knew something was up when he would have phone converstaions wit his cat. This is the second job I got fired from. Both of them were non paying. Which makes me a volunteer. YOU CANNOT FIRE A FUCKING VOLUNTEER. Oh well.. I don't usually do this but i couldnt hold it and i took a monster diareah in this dudes bathroom b4 i left. A little going away present. Straigth from the heart. Too bad I flushed...

Oh yeah I finally got on the register at Pathmark. quite frankly i suck and im mad akward at it. i swipe the items mad slowly. Hopefully circuit city will call me back telling me im hired. On the upside Im suposed to go to HL 2morrow so its lookin like a sunshiny day. (Corny. I know)

In my last rant i mentioned some albulms I'd like to see released. The Detox and King Mathers. Dre you old slow ass muthafucka im scared imma get sniped out or some shit before i get to hear it. Any day before death is good. And Em you justa confused ass white boy. I would appreciate it if you released King Mathers so I could sleep at night. And you fucking Fugees. Goddamnit black people can't do shit woitout somebody fuckin it up. Talkin about u want Pras and Wyclef to call you Ms. Hill. Well I want people to address me as Your Royal Holiness but i dont see that shit happenin anytime soon. Get in the goddamn booth before I rip outcho fuckin dreads. Dead ass you really should be takin that medication. Obie you aint never comin out again. Oh well it was good while it lasted and cashis aint comin out either. You cant gangbang forever nigga record the fucking albulm. Stat Quo you punk ass bitch. You at shady and you let 50 go in front of you twice. You was supposed to come out since 03. WTF have you been up to? The strip club aint that much fun. And how the fuk u gon be in the strip club for 4 years when you dead ass broke? And last but not least Lupe Fiasco. Lupe Bitch Ass Fiasco. Talkin about he aint relaesin no more albulms cuz the record industry too shady and trecherous. So what? If mos def and Talib kweli can keep pushin on so can you. It is tru. Record label execs hold the skeleton keys to the deepest darkest pits of the underworld but you cant give up so easy. U abanondoned rappers need a union or something. I now announce Tired Of Ramen Noodles Union Organization. For a nominal fee of a Twinkie a day I will get ur albulm out. Notice I said Out and not Heard. That shit is on you. Wtf I look like? I aint Interscope.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


And so the showdown begun. 1 steroid induced ego against 1 crybaby ego. I don't know about you people but I wanted Curtis to win. Just to make the last post that much funnier.

1 Week Later.

Damn. Fif lost. Aint that sum shit. How the fuk a gorilla general get laid out by sum punk ass dropout teddy bear. Now I aint gon go as far as 50 did and say that Def Jam fudged the numbers but sumthin went wrong. That luck machine dun cashed out for 50. When he came out wit Get Rich alot of the material on that albulm was old shit wit Dre beats added on. Anything is hot wit a Dre beat. Fuk "the neptunes". I want that Detox. Back to what i was sayin. Wanksta was hot but that was due to Em. And I wish he would stop bullshitting and release King Mathers already so I could get on with my pathetic little life. Anyway... That song debuted on Ems 8 mile soundtrack as a throwaway single. Just a goofy soundin ass song for people to get familiar wit 50s name. But you ignorant cool people (myself included) ate that shit up. If you neva heard the original "In Da Club" without the Dre beat... DONT. It slobs on E.T.s balls. Somehow he managed to sell 10 mill of that albulm. Basically no black people bought the albulm. Except for me. And I didn't buy that shit either. My pops bought it and and found out that there were curses so he let me have it. Okay my pops is a clean cut, never been arrested, never cut school, never had a drink not even at his own wedding, paralegal 41 yr old, conservative germophobe who is out of touch with the hood. Think Uncle Phil off The Fresh Prince Of Bel Aire. These are the type of people who are actually buying 50s albulms. My Pops and all the little Italian kids who wanna be gangsta. Ya know like the Gotti kids who wanna be bosses like thier grandfather was but are scared ever since he got his ass stomped tha fuk out for callin the wrong nigger in the pen a nigger.
Fif slipped by on The Massacre wit that recycled ass Magic Stick. Candy shop was hella corny. That sounded like sumthin Fab shoulda been doin. But all of 50s cockridin Italian teeeny bopper fans bought that shit. I know cuz i went to Brooklyn Tech and i witnessed this shit. Notice that when if you went to see Get Rich in the movies (I feel your pain If you did) you saw a good amount of cracka ass crackas up in that bitch. 50 Cent is the white mans gangsta. A modern day adaptation of the minstrel show. Go get a gun a bullet proof vest now stand in between dem dere bitches and turn on the smoke machines. But its all cool cuz i liked him up until that shit sandwhich of the Massacre.
Fuckin Curtis has to suk cuz he put he put out two singles, accused Interscope of leaking two. But nobody really gave a fuck about his albulm. Dats why he pushed that shit back cuz nobody was hype about that shit. This time around all of 50s Italian Wanksta fans graduated high school and now he's suddenly not a gansta anymore he's just a Nigger. Fuk it I'd be a nigger too if I could have a fraction of what that hulked up Ferret lookin muthafucka got. If thats waht it means to be a nigger im down. Who i gotta call? who i gotta see? Get at me im fuckin starvin man.
Although he lost in sales, he still has the most money wit his endorsement deals and shit. none of that shit we (by we I mean us colored folk {yes that includes you Latinos}) buy his shit anyway. None of us wear G-Unit clothing and sneakers. Yet you still see that shit in Macys and Dr. Jays. We don't drink his watered down purple Kool-Aid Vitamin Water either. Do you know this nigga has his own line of vibrators comin out? In blue cuz its his favorite color? Who the hell iz gonna use that shit? Not me and certainly not my fellow coloreds. Its gonna be u pasty college bitches and white boyz cuz it excites you.
Oh well at least Fif got to poke on Ciara for a minute.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Give A Black Man A Chance

Ok I know on my previous post "Madd Typos (baminuilsln) Read between the lines" I mentioned Kanye West in the place of Kaira but this time I really am talking about Kanye West. As you have probably heard the self proclaimed Lois Viotonn "Don" (HAHA) had a little bitch fit over his losses at the MTV awards. Mr. West was nominated for 5 categories Best Male Artist Of The Year, Quadruple Threat Of The Year, Video Of The Year, Best Director and Best Editing. In case you didn't know Kanye once compared himself to Jesus so he figured that since he was Jesus in the flesh he'd be a shoe in for a trophy or two. Well he didn't get shit. In the video he says "Give a black man a chance". Are you serious? The man already has a Grammy. Just fall back you did it baby. Fall back and let Plies or Vanilla Ice get a nomination. I mean damn you greedy son. Give a black man a chance. You already got a Grammy you little ignorant cool person. (read the first blog and you will see what that phrase is in place of. code word for a 6 letter word I won't use). Especially for someone with mediocre mic skills. Who the fuck cries over some teeybopper award when they got a Grammy at home? Fuckin crybaby. And as far as you sayin you won't do aything for MTV anymore I think you're really confused about the reality of your relationship with MTV. MTV can continue without your despensible black ass. You on the other hand need MTV. I guess your counting on BET but really black people don't buy albulms. Especially the young bucks who watch BET. 70% of all rap albulms bought are purchased by white males in their 20s. That would be why you need MTV. Its Timmy not Tyronique who got you those shades. At least look at it this way you can still beat 50 Cent in the albulm fued. He may Spray your Bentley like roaches if you win but you still won right? On the real tho I really do feel sorry for the poor guy. I mean he had his eyebrows waxed, he put on his best Gucci sandals wit the and he even had on his special Versace blouse with the little gold accents on the cuffs. What a waste of an outfit.

Enjoy the vid

Spoof On "Golddigger" By Kanye West - Click here for funny video clips