Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Happiness? Nigga Im Fuckin Pissed Off...

Okay by now I hope that 1 of you muthafuckas been smart enough to realize the irony of the title i chose for the last 3 posts. Nigga i got cancer. I mean i should be crazy out of my fuckin mind. But I aint all happy. I chose to name my The Happiness because somewhere deep down in the pits of hell with all of the scary ass parahnas im scared out of my fucking mind. I have been down the tunnel like twice but never all the way down because I know that once I get it into my head im gonna die there will be no sleep. I mean like nigga i got two different types of cancer that come back at a rate of 7o-sumthin%. But since I two different types I got a 140% chance of this shit comin back. Niggas is harrassin me about a fuckin spinal tap. Ionno somehow the NEEDLE in the TIP OFF MY FUCKIN SPINE JUST DOESNT SOUND TOO APPETIZIN. You muthafuckas you. You try it. Let me know how the fuck that shit feels. Even my mother and Grandmommy Majidah were just speakin on it. Like on some "Yeah we gotta take Kevin..." (fuck it oh well my name is fuckin Kevin) so anyway....
"Yeah we gotta take Kevin on Tuesday for his spinal tap. While he's in the operating room lets go get some food."
"Okay lets go for BBQ's his spinal tap is gonna take a long time."
Heart Stops brain stops. Nigga i could be dead in 2 maybe even 3 days. Fuck it i have to stop because I'm heading down that fucking hole again. Anyway you see where I going.

Anyway on a lighter note: This shit is funny as hell.

I will fuck you up! Ahahahahaha!!!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Happiness Pt. 3

Well after seeing my sister (she lives in Brooklyn) she informed me that I have been quite a dickhead while I was knocked up on whatever chemicals the doctors used to knock my ass out. Apperently my step sister and brother were there and which now brings my total to 22 people. (I have no recollection of them being there goddamn my brain was so shot) But anyway that is besides the point... Keishas tells me that I told everbody to get the fuck out of the room so that I could sleep..... Now I don't remeber this but the part about my going to sleep seems pretty likely and I'm pretty sure I am that much of a hypothetical asshole. I mean like if I were home and I thought about it I would be like "Yeah that would be funny but that would also be fucked up. I wouldnt do it though." Well goddamn the doctors gave my fucked my brain up so bad or good chemicals (u choose lol) I skipped right past the part were you decide if the action is good or bad. I guess I just did it. And u know what? I feel like shit. I really do feel like horseshit. How the fuck would you feel if you came all the way from Newark,NJ to Manhattan,NY just to be told to get the fuck out so that I could sleep? I mean I'm sure i was sleepy but damn that shit was just grimy. But then again my Dr. Whateveryouma'callim. Told us that I would be somewhat different after the surgery. Yah whatever all i feel is a lil bit more human which I guess what I like now but really I doubt that the older me would have thought different. Mother says that I answer all of her questions with 1 word answers and I call her "Mother" and I can eat my way through half ya fridge. So to her im still the person but my freinds could tell the difference. Well at least I decided to slow down wit the cursin instead of steppin it up wit the cursin. Goddamn how the fuck could I have stepped it up? "Fuck I'm muthafuckn Kevin my nigga. I come straight from muthafuckin goddamit Brownsville bitch." Actually that actually soounds like me a few weeks ago. Thank god for brain tumors cuz that shit iz jus ridiculous. Later on after a bunch of frequent pisses one of the nurses comes into my room and tells me that I have 1 of 2 choices.

  1. I could have a cane and look like an old ass muthafucka.
  2. Or... I could have taken... the fuckin walker.... like im sick but i aint that sick gimme the fuckin cane.

So now I have the cane for about 1 or 2 days I forget. The bed rolls up and backward. Like sitting up for during the day and then leaning back for a nap. So I notice when I was leaning back that I hear a cracklin sound. I looked around the room and I never found it. I thought it may be one of the annoyin ass nurses buggin me about some pill I had to take 3 in the fuckin morning. But it wasn't. Becuase the next morning I noticed that myh cane was mishapen. Mishapen as in I broke that shit the fuck up. I guess that shit was on my bed and i bent back too far wit the cane on it. Oops my bad.

Friday, February 22, 2008

The Happiness Pt. 2

Well it appears that I did have something to keep me from posting a blog. I know I know ur sorry. Listen all I need is some pineapples and im good we can move on. Thanks. Anyway the story of The Happiness continues:

So now I'm awake and my family is there. My mother, my sisters, my brothers, my Pops, my Stepmother, my grandmothers, and my Uncle Reggie, my cousins who oddly enough I have not seen in over a decade, and my dearly beloved Auntie Erika. That makes it 13 people. but then all of a sudden I start recognizing my 3 friends Dame Javien n Derek (ayo Derek we got sumn n comin now LOL), my guidance conselor Carlos, my boss from school, Trisha, and Leanna. Which now brings my total to 20 people. 20 people. 20 FUCKING POEPLE. I mean damn I liked having all of you there but really. Goddamn. It was just so many of you muthafuckas. Shit. And now my nurses are all in a tiffy cuz I cant say what the name of mthe hospital is..... Umm i havent been to a hospital for more than ten years and my normal brain function sux. I jus had brain surgery... gimme a break. I must also say that school food is now THE SHIT. The shit as in I praise the box it comes prepackaged in. Hospital food is digusting low sleazy trashy and just plain horrible tasting. I remember after a few days of being there I decided for them to bring me Farina. After all there is no way you can mess up Farina. These muthafuckas did. Somehow I got a bowl of farina on the bottom of the bowl and water on the top of the bowl. It was too thick to mix and too gelatany to eat straight. Milk must be drunk cold. I know you guys prolly keep it up in the right temps but really everyday I was just chuggin that shit away cuz it wasnt bone chillingly cold. Bran muffins are not muffins they are nasty ass peices of shit you use to throw at dogs. And really the only real part of breakfast is the juice which is served with your crackhead of a meal. MMMmmmm delicous only problem is it is 8 oz. WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH 8 OZ? YOU STUPID ASSHOLES AT THE FDA KEEP CALLING IT "8OZ PER SERVING" HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN 8 OZ SERVING? NO. CUZ YOU TELL THEM TO BRING YOU A FULL 16 OZ SERVING. FUCKING ASSHOLE DICKHEAD MUTHAFUCKAS.

Other than that it was a really good hospital and if you need it I suggest it highly.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Happiness Pt.1

I am sooo sorry. I know i didn't post anything recently. I mean all that happened was I had a headache for 2 weeks and I stayed home in the dark, in total silence. Then I went to the hospital they gave me some IV and sent my ass home. Then the next day I had to go back and stress the level of my headaches and they gave me a CRI or an MRI or somethin like that. And come to find out I have a 7 centimeter brain tumor in the back of my head.(which is actually pretty goddamn big) And for whatever reason luck actually finds its way into my life and I get transfered to a good nuerological {big words} at Luke Roosevelt (It took me 6 days to get that right and if I didnt get it right fuck it) And my doctor Dr. Sumnthinwatchyacallit told me its like i have like 3 tumors built into 1. Uh Huh... So we head into some room and from there I remember I remember........ nothing. Now im back too sleepy to remember what the hell was the going on. Sleepy, Sleepy, Sleepy. One funny thing though was that my Uncle Reggie said I looked like the Indian kid Hadji off of Johnny Quest with my head bandages.

Now I have been away from this computer for at least the past month and y'know what Im just now recognizing how much the internet the sux. I mean they're are the sites y'know about but the other ones we dont know about. Like whuthafuck man? Imma just throw this 1 out there for you fuckin programmers and shit. How about an actually search engine that actually understands English. And I don't give a fuck about "but it's not invented yet." Fuck yeah it is. Now take yo ass in the lab and go get our zoogle 2.0.

Another thing I recognized is that I hate... no..... I despise with a great passion rap. Now somehow my rap collection has been quite large. But if you look a little more closely my rap collection is actually safe from big media releases. Other than that fuck D4L, Lil Jon, Dem Franchize Boyz, The Diplomats.... fuck..... i could go on forever... fuck P. Diddly. Sorry he had to be included in my fuckery. So now my site will be a Fuk Rap/I Luv Rap.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Fuck It I'll Do A List Too

Ya know it seems like this year was pretty shitfull (I am not even sure if thats word but yaknow what i mean) on the music side of things. Nobody worth listening came thru and somehow i like Graduation more than Curtis. Which means i could have only liked two songs but anyway here is my list to see if this year was bad for music or good for music. If you do not make this list you suck horrible monkey penis.

The Cool- So I will take this time to say that I am an avid (hope I used that word right) Lupe
listner. Think of Lipe as the rapping version of me. I got all the mixtapes. The 1st ahlf of the albulm was kinda "ehh" at first. I mean if any other rapper did that i woulda been like "OH SHIT!!!" but Lupe was suppose to come stronger than that. But once you get to the albulm picks up on a darker note and it was crazy from that point on.

Eardrum- Listen Talib be gettin his ass kicked in them sales and in his little recording deal wit the labels. But my nigga deserves much praise for this album. I dont listen to it often (Kinda like Reasonable Doubt or Ready To Die) but when i do its straight fire.

American Gangster- I hope you niggas die. You ignant mufackas out there aint got no bizness tellin Hov he cant mature. So now he has to this gun totin shit instead of Kingdom Come. Am I the only 1 to say it... I like Kingdom come. (Except for that horrible song with Usher someboody has to go to hell for that 1). And meanwhile all of you fuckas think hello brooklyn was hott.....? Noooo it sux rats ass. I mean its all good until lil wayne gets his gay ass on the song and starts singin and shit. It was hot but Kingdom Come is betta. U hear that Hov? Ayo fuck these niggas keep evolvin thats why these niggas is 30 movin crack out they momma house. Muthafuckas.
Buck The World- You niggas be frontin like this shit aint hott. Nigga are you crazy? This shit was needed. Way better than that shit sandwhich Curtis. But for real buck keep all them shitty g-unit south artists to urself.

Graduation- Whats the word im looking for magical, wonderfully surprising, or amazingly spectral show of lyrical ability. Whatever you wanna call it this albulm was ridiculous. Except for Barry Bonds. U know what Fuck you Lil Wayne always gotta bring yo' gay man kissin ass up in my eardrum and fuck the somg up. Dickhead.
Blue Cheese & Coney Island- Anothher rapper that fucked hisself up cuzza what these ignant' niggas gotta say. Listen ur Bizzare i dont need to hear you make a record about anything imporatant. Just keep feeding me more i fucked my grandparents and nutted on my neice tracks and itll be all good. Nigga ur name iz Bizzare.... keep bein bizzare.

Best Albulm Of The Year
Autografh- Dead ass I thought this albulm was gonna be trash but it is up there in the big leagues. Fuck it this shit was better than American Gangster. I am not even sure if this shit got released cuz i got it way back in the beginnning of the year. What nigga? I got connections too. Come to think of it there was no song I did not like. Wow.
Curtis- Nigga imma keep it real short witchu. Nigga you made it. You did not die tryin. If you cannot make Get Rich material just stay home and out of any booth. Also: STOP MAKING THOSE G-UNIT SNEAKERS. nOBODY WEARS YO SHIT. AND IF YOU DO JUMP OUT THE MUTHAFUCKIN WINDOW. Punk ass BITCHES.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Public Service Denouncement Pt.1

Yes that video was hot. But at the same time it is also very distustingly sleazy. Becaus ethe chick in the video has decided to sue Szul Jewelry because she doesnt think she should be in the commercial. Her lawyer says that the commercail has "bump-and-grind" music and has "a decidedly pornographic look, feel and sound. This was a bait and switch." BITCH what the fuck kinda coke are you sniffing? Cuz I need some of dat shit. Firts off BITCH you faked your little orgasm so you obviously knew what the fuck the commercail would be like. As far as we know you were paid. Please shiut the fuck up. I know where you got this little idea from. The idea that you could get paid for your sexual work and then later complain and bitch about it.

It was you Superhead. You dirty ass, distustingly sleazy peice of shit. Notice to all young women everywhere:

You cannot suck a guys dick get paid and then say that they were using you. Especially if you wanted to give him head just to be a fucking showoff. Also that means that you cannot fuck two beefing rappers and a basketball star and then write a book about it.

That would mean you Carmen Bryan. We all know you fucked Jay-Z, Nas and Iverson. That doesnt make you special it makes you a fucking whore.
I just needed to clear the air cuz these bitches are outta they muthafuckin minds.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

The Return of The Jedi

It feels so good to be back. Hello people out there in the internet world. Im fine and you. Xmas has just flew by and i am writing this blog on a self prescribed, no call in day. I thougth today was friday and then i realized it was actually saturday... but i was supposed to be in to work hours ago. SO I have now decided to type up this blog about ionno what... (I'll figure that one while I'm typing) Yup my pop father bought me a surprise appearance laptop. that one was definitely a surprise. Sp now that i have my own laptop I can now say this... fuck my maternal cohabitants slow freezing ass computer. Expect more blogs as long as that dumb ass router can get the signal out of my mothers locked room through two thick ass project walls and to my room.

Now I ponder about what to rant n rave n bitch and poke fun at.................

Okay i know this is alot diferent from what i normally do but what if I share my dreams... I know like what the hell kinda weirdo am I right? I now i was thinking the same thing. No it'll be great just trust me......
....24 hours later....

Ummm I have jus now noticed something. How can I post last nites dream if I cant even remember what the hell I dreamed? Which now means that these shits will be random.

Anyway here is 1 from a few weeks ago. Some a big ass group of these new age rappers are chasing me. Diddy, Soulja Boy, and Pretty boy is what I remember. Now somehow I ended up running in accomplice wit pac and Biggie. And if they killed us three then somehow hip hop is dead. Which makes me think... "Wtf? So acording to my dream hip hop been done." Somehow after gettin chased ridiculously I ended up at my friends Dereks house and this nigga has Pokemon everywhere. I definitly remember oddishes and a pikachu. I never been to his house but his shit looked like Professor Oak lab. Then the Pikachu was about top thundershock these horrible rappin mouthafockas and i woke up. Aint that some crazy shit?